Red Hot Publicity.

So, I failed a subject.
Physics.

If you took a look at my post somewhere in June,
you would have known I panicked,
but also panicked because I refused to touch it.
Now I'm paying the price; no complaints.

Then I experienced the paranoia of confession--
to the parents.
I blabbed it out to my dad in the middle of dishwashing,
and he was concerned but I told him what I knew:
- First year subjects DO NOT matter at Melbourne
- All I was losing was 12.5 Credit Points,
and I knew how to get it back
- I just cannot afford to fail any non-first-year subjects.
With that he went to the living room to watch TV.

Then I sort of sat in a stunned silence with Mum,
while she was conversing over Skype with relatives,
my closest aunts and cousins around.
I went away, gathered my information, and returned.
Then I just held out the news and facts in mid air,
waiting for her to catch it as gracefully as my father did.
I didn't expect her to embrace it.
She didn't.
I know failing Physics was wholely my own fault,
but I wished my mother would understand sometimes,
that the belief someone else has in you might help you
in succeeding to prevent something and get elsewhere.
Anyway, I told her that the Board only cares about
what you get afterrrrr your first year at university,
that I just need to get back the lost credit points,
and that it wouldn't affect my goal of getting into Dent.
It didn't change a thing = =.
And mind you, Skype was still running through all of this.
She started to rant. Loud and clear.
Announcing my failure as audibly as possible,
to my relatives, who heard every word.
About how I'm always glued to the computer (somewhat true)
About how I never give up time to enjoy the new house (false)
About how I strive to stay up late JUST to chat despite fatigue
(false; too many listable reasons)
I just stood there in my shame and guilt and red ears and face.
How extremely naked that made me feel.
But oh well. The rents know now. My paranoia died today;
ever since the start of July I've been worrying over what to do.
Today that inner stress is gone; I just have to wait out the storm.

Dear Physics 2, just you wait. Just you wait.

Over and out, my listeners.